Lately I’ve been complaining about how unhappy I am with how I look and feel. I’ve been making tones of excuses and I’ve been letting myself get away with them, which isn’t like me at all.
It seems like every week I say; “this is the week I start getting back to my old self” and then either don’t follow through or fall off the wagon after a short period of time. Well enough is enough and today I promise you that this is the last time you will hear this from me because I’ve had an epiphany.
Last week I started playing beach volleyball for the first time this summer and when all the other guys playing were able to take their shirts off when it got warm, I on the other hand could not. I was, for the first time in a very long time, extremely self-conscience and embarrassed of how I looked and because of this, I didn’t want to take my shirt off.
Not wanting to take my shirt off at the beach brought back a lot of old feelings that I hadn’t had in over 4 years. I had worked so hard and eaten so well and trained so hard to no have these feelings and I’m upset that they’re back and I’m upset that I let myself get to this point.
I’m not writing this post to tell you my sob story or I’m not trying to get sympathy or have you feel bad for me. I’m writing this post to let you know that I’m pissed off and that I’m going to take how I feel and I’m going to use it as motivation and get myself back to where I’m happy to be me again.
I’m tired of making excuses! I’m done making excuses! I’m tired of disappointing myself by not following through with what I say I’m going to do and I’m done feeling like I did before I lost my weight…
Starting RIGHT NOW, I’m getting back to the Scott that I want to be.