Fashion Faux-Pas From Europe

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Now that I’m back home in Canada, I’ve had time to reflect on some things that I’ve seen and witness while living in London and travelling Europe.  I’m feeling the need to talk about something that most guys don’t talk about in front of people (even though we do think it)… Fashion.

The 4 months I was around Europe I went to quite a few different places; Scotland, Italy, France and of course, England.  During my time in these different parts of Europe I’ve noticed quite a bit of what I call “fashion faux-pas” that I feel the need to address.

Here is a list of the top 9, in no particular order.

Shinny puffy jackets with fur on the hoods

These are mostly seen in continental Europe on Italians and Frenchman and on both men and women.  I don’t really have much to say about them except the reflection off of them has ruined more than a few pictures I’ve taken while traveling.

MC Hammer pants on girls

I think these are actually called Harem Pants and they’re most well known from when MC Hammer wore them in the 90s.  They have made a comeback somehow and are now worn by women.  If they’re worn properly, they can be pulled off by the right girl, but for the most part they just make them look like they are wearing a diaper that hasn’t been changed in a week.

Short Shorts on guys in the gym

“Hey buddy, this is a family place. Put the mouse back in the house.” –Gunther

This is what I feel like saying to 2/3 of the guys that go to my gym.  The dudes wear some SHORT SHORTS!!!

You can only wear short shorts if you have chest hair and a mustache

Black knee-high socks with Shorts on guys in the gym

I don’t think anything more than the title needs to be said!

Skinny jeans that hang off your ass

So the skinny jean is a big thing in North America but they’re a big thing with women, not men.  In Europe, every lanky, skinny dude wears skinny jeans.  Not only do they wear skinny jeans so tight they can barely walk, they hang them off their asses like we did when we were skaters back in the day but not half as cool.

Douchebage haircut

This is something that is worldwide but I feel that there is more than just the “faux hawk” in Europe.

Spandex Jeans on people that shouldn’t wear them

I think the proper term for these are Jeggings.  Basically they’re spandex made to look like jeans and they are simply wrong.

Teddy bears worn as hats by adults

These are EVERYWHERE here in London and not just worn by kids. I’ve seen 40+ year old women in full business suits weraring these things.  I don’t get it… I don’t get it at all…

Leopard print… SO MUCH LEOPARD PRINT!

And not just on cougars, although it’s a hell of a lot funnier when it’s on cougars

(Cougar: An older woman who frequents clubs in order to score with a much younger man. The cougar can be anyone from an overly surgically altered wind tunnel victim, to an absolute sad and bloated old horn-meister, to a real hottie or milf. source: Urban Dictionary)

It’s worn on tights, scarves, hats, fluffy furry coats, gloves… Everywhere and all at once.  I’ve even seen it their dogs that they use as accessories.

11 COMMENTS

  1. Great idea for a post. I enjoyed it.
    I also enjoy my Jeggings, my short shorts (but I’m a girl, so its a bit more appropriate right?) and leopard print scarf.
    I very much dislike Harem pants, skinny jeans on men and Teddy bear hats….also if it’s take’s a man longer to “style” his hair then it takes me…we have a problem. I’ll choose a man with no hair over a man with highlights any day.

  2. hahahaha that was pretty funny. Though when I lived in Toronto, about half the men wore skinny jeans, but it’s a pretty hipster place.

  3. Oh my heck! I about blew a snot on myself laughing at this post, Scott. At least my biggest fashion foulups were confined to checkered pants, prepped collars, and big hair of the 80’s!

  4. oh my gosh i LOVED this post. cracked me up!!! They do that weird Teddy bear hat thing in nyc too.

  5. Very good and timely post. Some people just don’t have a clue and NEED to be told.

    Skinny jeans on guys ugggh. Skinny jeans on (that man that OMG I can’t believe Katy Perry married)……dreadful!!

  6. Jeggings are just wrong, wrong, wrong.

  7. Great post, laughing my ample butt off! I happen to *love* leopard print, though. *blush*

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